Non-buyer's remorse

It's getting ridiculous how many times I've ummed and ahded over an item in the new AW/10 collections until it's sold out in my size.
There are dozens of examples on Topshop.com alone. Here's my top three...

(The latter in grey)
And these babies are currently in the 'new in' section, but sold out when you click through - what's that all about? They can't have sold out already? An online error perhaps? I need them!

So, in recent weeks, I've been proactive in my purchasing, and it's kind of paid off. You see, I was so sick of what I call non-buyers' remorse, that feeling when something you wanted sells out, I ordered two major items from ASOS on a total whim.

(the latter in black - damn my tardy picture research.)
So, I immediately started hyperventilating after dropping 200 notes on these babies in a lunch hour (so much I qualified for free NEXT DAY DELIVERY - that's when you know you've gone a click too far) and experienced how non-buyers' remorse becomes buyers' remorse.

But I was desperate to try on both. I was sure they'd transform my AW look instantly, and make me the proudest peacock in London. When they were delivered to work I immediately ripped open the bag and ran to the toilets and its full length mirror to see the new me...

But they both looked shades of shit. The beautiful cape transformed me into nothing more than an Inspector Sherlock wannabe. The butter-soft and now sold-out aviator jacked was too short for my damn long body and too slim for my gigantic boobage. I was devastated. But there was a glimmer of smugness. At least I'd tried. At least I know it wasn't to be. And when I drop by ASOS and see them, I don't wonder what could have been, but know neither item was ever destined to be worn by me.

So, what's the moral of this long-winded tale? If you really want something you probably shouldn't buy, try it anyway. If you're anything like me, the dream of that illusive item is bigger than the reality, and you'll be left with the money refunded back in the bank, knowing you didn't let that perfect item get away.

A tight fit

Friday was an important day in my fashion year - the first opaque tight of the new season.
It's time. The weather's chillier, the wind's brisker and, frankly, I wanted to give this dress its inaugural outing.
I'm very fussy about black tights. I have not, and I fear never will, jumped on the 20-denier trend that's started sweeping the legs of London's fashion forward. It's just too eighties, too sheer and far too reminiscent of my mother's legs to work for me. Even Topshops's polka dot numbers couldn't tempt me from the very dark side.
I need opaque tights to be 90 denier and higher. My 120 deniers, seen above, are my prized A/W possession, and I have about 4 pairs. So here I offer some words of opaque advice.
Oasis: Don't bother unless you like them very low slung. They fall down throughout the day, leading you to do the tight wriggle, wrestling them up to your hips. Likewise, Primark. In fact, these once got me so angry I pulled a big hole in a pair.
Topshop's are pricey but worth it - trying to find a large pair is like searching for a needle in a haystack, but they're worth the search.
As ever, Marks and Spencer is reliable, as long as you can track the 90s down... they go fast. And my personal faves are ASOS, though get 'em while you can. The 120s sell out FAST.

Dress - Primark// Tights - ASOS// Boots - ASOS// Watch - Michael Kors

Rain in the arse

Hear ye, hear ye, from now on I commit to more outfit posts. I've been slack, shy and a bit unorganised when it comes to the fashion part of this fashion blog, so starting today I'm going to try and do a couple a week... who knows, it might make me wear something other than leggings!

So here goes. I've lost my brolly, which means I had to drag this, my only coat with a hood, out of the back of the wardrobe.

Coat - Primark// Scarf - H&M//
The nippier weather also gave me the chance to wear my lovely new scarf. I'm actually pretty excited about autumn - I'm sick of having to put flesh on display!

Top - H&M// Watch - Michael Kors// Jeans - Topshop// Chelsea boots - ASOS
Necklaces - jumble and old Accessorize
The top's another new purchase - I could have done with a size smaller but they didn't have it, and it was such a bargain at £7 I had to make it mine. I look a little butch, but whatevs. I'm trying to wear things a little bit out of my comfort zone (can you believe that, for many years, I lived by the Trinny and Susannah rules for my shape. I love those women, but that's for another post.)

No detail shots I'm afraid - I got sick of my work colleagues mocking my impromptu photoshoot in smoker's alley... hence the following:


I also have a new haircut, which I'm not sure about... they thinned it. It's thin enough! Discuss.

Cole position

Ok, so she's Tweedy now, but my pun well has run a little dry today after many a headline for my proper job.Soz.

There's just something about 'are Cheryl' I find fascinating. For me she's not a style icon... I think she tends to look overdone, especially on X Factor. But sometimes I see a candid where she's put herself together, and isn't trying too hard, and I think: "well done good woman." This was one of those times.

Ok, maybe it's this outfit's similarity to a recent ensemble of my own, but I think the more casual look works well on her... hell, who am I kidding, I prefer a thrown-together look on anyone! (Posh take note)

I also happen to know this top's from Bank. High Street - wahey! If any of you are after a piece of Ms Tweedy... see HERE. The shorts look like Diesel... hmmm. Shame they're not a more distressed vintage pair, but our Chez does love a label!

Greece is the word

Ah the holiday in Samos. It seems so long ago, now I've had three days back at work. But it was, in fact, immense. Seven sun-filled days (and phew wot a scorcher - 40 degrees every day, I tell yer) of lying on the beach, eating uh-mazing food and basically living the high life.

We were staying in an apartment with friends... little did I know (until we arrived) that the apartment was owned by the family of none other than Lopi, the Fashion Architect - blogger extraordinaire!
She's a friend and colleague of our friend Vasilis, and was born and grew up in Samos, so she showed us around all week, making our trip extra special. Here she is with a particularly beautiful and friendly kitten...

So, this was the fantastic view from our terrace, where we spent much time doing the G2 crossword, drinking beer and swatting mosquitoes...

Yep - there was a little beach below where we took a morning dip to cool down after each pretty hot night's sleep. And if you aren't yet jealous enough, here's the obligatory sea through legs shot from another beach we visited:

It was so hot, I was so unprepared and did such terrible last-minute packing that my outfits were dull, functional and essentially in-what-will-I-sweat-least affairs... basically an approximation of this, every day:

Shorts// old old Topshop, Vest // River Island, Flip -flops//Havianas, Glasses, somewhere in LA, Hat// cannot for the life of me remember.

The coolest thing we did was go to a lovely little open-air cinema, complete with pizza delivered to your table, beer, free doughnuts, a barking dog and mosquitoes. Unfortunately we saw Nine, which was utter crap, but the experience was great. Definitely something you should do if you get the chance!

Now to the shopping. I actually bought very little. In fact only souvenirs. I give you, the ridiculous slipper:

and the awesome Pythagorean cups:

These babies empty all the wine out if you fill it too far, teaching moderation to the ancient Greek masses... somethig I could certainly learn when it comes to a dry white.

A great time was had by all - Jon is already planning how we can relocate to Greece some day, and I'm frantically applying tinted bodylotion to hang on to the tan. Now to plan the next jolly!